Posted by seldomseen on October 29, 2008, at 6:34:17
In reply to Rupture in therapy (long), posted by Wittgensteinz on October 28, 2008, at 20:09:25
This is a tough one I agree. It seems to me that you have a lot of things to consider.
I have no experience with a day program, but I do know that people on these boards have had some success with them. Hopefully they will post.
Also, I think your therapist brings up an interesting point - do the other 135 sessions mitigate his sharpness in the past sessions? If there is a history of support and comfort, maybe they do. It may take a significant stretch for you to reach into that trust, but would it be relatively safe in this situation? Or would a break from each other be more appropriate?
I don't know what to make about the suicide contract and the "you're the expert on suicide" comment. It certainly seems as though you are both carrying some mistrust and hurt regarding that situation.
Some therapists do take a very hard line on suicide and simply will not practice under that pressure. I personally think there should be some latitude there and not the "my practice my rules" type thing. Perhaps what you are looking for is forgiveness from him? If so, if there a therapeutic value in seeking that? What is it trying to tell you?
Sometimes talking about suicide really helps to get it off the mind. I do understand his reticence however, though I don't necessarily agree with it.
I'm no psychiatrist, but I certainly think his clamping down on "not talking" about military service and your reaction to it was NOT about military service, but may reflect your frustration/hurt at not getting to talk about the things you want to talk about.
Do you think you could bring this up to him?
I'm sorry you are feeling bad, but am confident that you will make the best decisions for yourself and your continued healing.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:859655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/859695.html