Posted by twinleaf on October 11, 2008, at 16:19:13
In reply to a misunderstanding that didn't need to be....., posted by twinleaf on October 11, 2008, at 15:14:24
now that your relationship with T1 has been over for more than a year, it's easy to forget, or overlook, that you were once involved in an emotional relationship with him which included so many hopes for getting better, a longing to trust the relationship, and all the other feelings that go into a therapeutic relationship=the need to allow yourself to depend on him, and a willingness to disclose difficult feeling-states, like anger and sexual desire. Those of us in safe therapeutic relationships can take risks with all these feelings
. When you were starting out with T1, I'm sure you believed that he was a seasoned professional, with whom you could safely share all these feelings, too. It must have been a gradual, very painful discovery to learn that it wasn't safe.When I was abruptly terminated by my T1 (well, kicked out suddenly), the hardest part of it for me was that I had thought all during the four years I was with him that we were working very well together. Suddenly realizing that my trust and connection had been completely misplaced was probably the biggest shock I have ever experienced. I think you were more aware of what was happening, but it must have been a huge mixture of feelings. Everyone in therapy wants to feel liked and accepted, and often, we want to be desired. When these feelings are contained, they can be the foundation of many wonderful changes, but when they are selfishly acted upon by a therapist to meet his own needs, the result is inevitably very disappointing and disillusioning. Knowing that you were desirable to him just doesn't take the place, at all, of your determination to embark upon therapy in order to become happier and healthier.
poster:twinleaf
thread:856899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856952.html