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a misunderstanding that didn't need to be.....

Posted by twinleaf on October 11, 2008, at 15:14:24

In reply to I give up geeze, posted by lemonaide on October 11, 2008, at 14:34:49

Hi Lemonaide...I've been following this and the thread above about T1. When I read your list of the things he had said, but shouldn't have, I was stunned to learn how often he had crossed reasonable therapeutic boundaries. I knew that he had been flirtatious in the gym, in a mostly non-verbal way, but I didn't know he had said so many clearly inappropriate things.

I think that those of us who are presently lucky enough to have good therapeutic relationships can look at that list and find something on it which is similiar to something which has occurred in our own therapies. I think that is what posters like Daisy were getting at: in the context of a healthy, safe and productive relationship,, individual statements which sound like boundary crossings may not be. They may just be safe explorations, which can be tremendously helpful.

T1 did everything wrong. He used the therapeutic rellationship which you were developing to exploit you for his own needs and purposes. Everything he says is about HIM! Whether or not you eventually decide to report him, I hope you remain clear that you did not do anything wrong. I hope you will also remain as a poster. Posters who have not been betrayed by a therapist the way you have, in a way, the luxury of writing about boundary crossings which turned out to be extremely helpful. You had to face something much more serious and painful than that.

 

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poster:twinleaf thread:856899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856945.html