Posted by antigua3 on October 9, 2008, at 7:01:26
In reply to Re: My T made me really cry today » antigua3, posted by Dinah on October 8, 2008, at 23:09:45
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> I'm sure you already have heard my opinion about your pdoc so I won't repeat it. If you're finding it useful that's what matters. You have more courage than I do. I couldn't have tolerated it at all.
>
>>I would like your opinion; it would be useful at this time because my pdoc and I have made a lot of progress since you last told me, and maybe I need to hear it again.> I can't remember if you've answered this already, but does the relationship between the three of you echo the relationship between you and your father and your mother? Is your therapist similar to your mother? Or maybe how you wish your mother would have been in your struggles with your father?
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>>Yes, this triangular relationship mirrors my growing up experience to some extent. But you added something I hadn't considered. The "maybe how you wish your mother would have been in your struggles". Maybe that's true; the first part certainly is and it has been helpful to use this dynamic to work it out. My T has been a first-class mother to me.> I was just wondering. I'm not sure you'll ever get the response you want from your pdoc, due to who he is not who you are.
>>I know this absolutely, and working through this is so important to me. Maybe too important? I certainly see him as the evil father now, but I'd like to get past that. Every person in life has limitations and I have to get past wanting something I can't have, or at least resolving it so I can live in this world. I don't want this to contiuously dog me the rest of my days. I learned how to accommodate this w/my T--she can't fill every need, but what she does do (and would do more if I let her) is tremendous.
<(well, if the good enough mother chose that man to father her children anyway).>
>>Can you explain what you mean by this?
>Is it possible that you are getting what you need? Just not from the person you think you're trying to get it from?
>>What a great reply. Hadn't thought of this, but I started doing adjunct therapy when my T and I seemed blocked. See, a lot has to do with me not being able to be real with her when it comes to my own mother, meaning letting the anger out. Letting the anger out is my ultimate goal. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that's what I need to succeed. I can't go around having this overly loving feelings toward a man who essentially ruined my life.
Thank you Dinah for such a thoughtful response.
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:856481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856552.html