Posted by susan47 on August 31, 2008, at 15:08:45
In reply to Re: General thoughts on the subject of responsibility, posted by lemonaide on August 31, 2008, at 14:59:29
> What really bothers me is when things do go wrong, T's have the upper hand in establishing what happened or appeared to have happened. With their degrees, and training, they are very good at twisting things around to make it seem the client was delusional, and nothing the T did was wrong. Talk about abuse of power...
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> My T says that if we are overly dependent on our T's or any other relationship for that matter, the one who is depended on played a part in why this happened in developing the dependence, they get something out of it.My therapist said it was okay for me to come into his office between visits and sit in the anteroom. I explained I needed to do this as his presence felt threatening to me somehow, since I was falling in love with him, since I'd said what I had, I needed to be exposed to him gradually. This was okay with him. He even verbally gave me his (possibly untrue) office schedule, saying what hours and what days he was in his office, and saying that sometimes he worked out of his office in patients' homes, depending on the needs of the patient. Later on, when I realized what a boundary crossing this was, I was shocked. But I also had no idea. Shouldn't he have known? And is it, in fact, a boundary crossing to say what he did?
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> When I called my T a couple weeks ago because of my nightmares, and I need a kind voice to tell me I was okay. Well he told me that in cases when the client calls during periods of anxiety, if not life threatening, he will wait to call them back. He doesn't want to be the 1st line of offense when a client falls apart. He wants the client to learn to self soothe or reach out to people in their real life. So in this way he is not becoming the only source of comfort and becoming overly dependent on him. Because this dependency will be flawed at some point, like if he is on vacation, etc. He wants the client to have other avenues. I think I value this boundary wall he started with me when I first feel apart.
>It sounds to me like the same sort of theory my ex-T would have been operating on only my ex-T DID NOT HAVE THE FACILITY OF LANGUAGE WITH WHICH TO EXPRESS THIS. Isn't that somehow wrong?
poster:susan47
thread:849022
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080826/msgs/849493.html