Posted by DAisym on March 4, 2008, at 19:50:03
In reply to Re: MAD MAD MAD!, posted by Fallsfall on March 4, 2008, at 8:16:36
I NEVER yell and scream - you know that. :) I do find I want to pace around. My therapist said, "go ahead, just stay away from the windows."
I think he'd love it if I'd yell. He did tell me I was getting the ranting thing down pretty well.
And yes, we agree - I was testing the waters and warning her off at the same time. And I'm mad at him because therapy sets up expectations that everyone wants to listen to you and that the truth is important. Your truth, from deep inside you.
I feel like I'm caught in a double-bind right now. He says, "it must be really scary to be mad at your mother - risking the relationship - it could be a big loss for you if she responds badly if you tell her. I can see why you want to focus on being mad at me." And I think to myself, "it is the same with you, here." I risk the therapy relationship by transfering my anger onto him and that would not be an easier loss. So what is a girl to do?
The voice that says, "stop talking, stop telling, stop feeling," gets louder and louder.
Even if she says she didn't know, I'm not sure that would be healing. Because then I'm left with, "wasn't I important enough for you to notice?" She can't win.
Neither can I right now.
poster:DAisym
thread:815878
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/816243.html