Posted by Daisym on March 3, 2008, at 1:01:28
I'm mad at my therapist. No - I'm furious with him. I want to march in tomorrow and say, "all this work we are doing?- total cr*p! Our relationship? More cr*p! No matter what we talk about or how much I want to feel differently, I don't think I ever will. So let's just quit now."
I'm upset enough that I will probably say something close to this. Although, I'm not good at sarcasm in person, I tend to be very polite.
The kicker is that I *know* I'm really angry and devastated by my mother - not my therapist. We had dinner this weekend and I sort of told her how "inappropriate" my dad has been the past year and half - I said something like "since I've left my husband he acts like how sort of owns me again" - her response was, "that makes me think of what your sister said he did and I wonder if it was true." (Imagine me holding my breath and wondering how to respond.) I said, "Think about that for a minute. Would you want to know any more? At this point - what would you do with it?" She said, "I guess I've chosen to believe it isn't true - she isn't reliable - and what would I do now - report him to the police? No. So it is best left alone." End of discussion.
Not the end of the bad dreams. Not the end of my tears. But end of discussion.
I guess I didn't really realize that I've been hanging on to this fantasy of telling her - and of her being horrified for me - complete with curses and vows of revenge on the man who did all this to her child - I should know better. REALLY. My mom is a good person, amazing, super successful and all that. Just not a mother-bear type. Her kids were brought up to be super independent and as an over-achiever, I'm really great at being independent. And now therapy has made me not want to be so independent and alone.
So I'm mad at therapy. And at my therapist. It's all cr*p.
poster:Daisym
thread:815878
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/815878.html