Posted by antigua3 on February 20, 2008, at 19:59:45
In reply to therapy lately, posted by sunnydays on February 20, 2008, at 17:59:04
Did I write this? You described the feelings perfectly. I don't think I could ever ask for what I really wanted because of the pain of rejection, which is so prevalent for me. I don't have to tell you that when someone says no, it doesn't mean you are a terrible person; it's usually for some reason that's far out of your control.
If you really want the hug, think about how you would feel if he said no, and what would be acceptable for you to get if you can't have that. My pdoc wouldn't give me a hug in a million years, even though I'd love it as a validation, but he wouldn't take that route. My T, on the other hand, hugged me first, and I don't know if we would have gotten there if she hadn't approached me first. I don't know if I could have ever asked.
Just think it all the way through--not exactly like putting up your guard, but exploring with him what "No" really means to you.
good luck,
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:813775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/813796.html