Posted by Wittgensteinz on February 23, 2008, at 2:04:13
In reply to Re: therapy lately, posted by sunnydays on February 22, 2008, at 17:25:59
SD,
I'm very sorry to hear what happened in group. It sounds like you are being very strong despite the hurt of what the other member said. Whatever happens regarding the hugs/physical contact, don't force yourself to talk about it before you're ready.
For me, it was painful at the time (understatement) and I didn't feel caring in my T's response - I think it can be difficult for him because I am not much younger than his own daughters - and perhaps some fatherly countertransference was at play. The following session I read a piece that I'd written about how it had made me feel and he apologised for his response. It was hard taking a big risk like that and getting hurt - it wasn't so much that the answer was 'no' but more the way he gave the answer that left me feeling so hurt. I felt as if I'd been inappropriate - it left me feeling humiliated/put in my place.
But since then we are very much closer and I have begun to trust him - he does care deeply - and he's shown that in many other ways - not long ago he told me that he liked me which was such a nice thing to hear - my fear was he hated me, was disgusted by me, resented taking me on as a patient etc. I think I will ask him one day but termination isn't something relevant at the moment.
Your T sounds cool! I don't get 'high fives' - my T isn't that hip :) he's in his late 60s! I like shaking hands, it's a nice way of connecting before I leave (and when I arrive). That said, the most connection is through words, silences, and eye contact. I also have e-mail contact with my T between sessions (when I want to) and that helps keep the connection.
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:813775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/814218.html