Posted by Muffled on November 22, 2007, at 9:44:27
In reply to Re: this has been coming on for a couple days now, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on November 22, 2007, at 8:44:52
Llurpy you are so NOT pitiful. (((Lurpy)))
You have been working SO hard to keep going.
Your not pitiful, you are an amamzing woman!
I was thinking...bout telling stuff, and maybe Daisy knows.
But I not sure how you might do it.
I kinda said some stuff, kinda accidentally.
Finished a T session where I said nothing, went away to think or something, got 'pics' in my head that wouldn't go away, pannicked, coped badly, went BACK to T's office, and wonder of wonders, she HAD A NO SHOW!!! so she had time for me, and this all is SO NOT ME, to go back like that, but I was crazed, and I said a thing or two, OUTSIDE, where it was safer, even though a work crew nearby proly thot I was nuts (;-}!!!). I was sitting and rocking and looking like amonkey covering my head I think.
Anyhow, my T DIDN'T RUN. She WASN'T horrified. She didn't think I was bad, or gross. She didn't try to come closer to me. She just sat there and encouraged me. Then she took me to have a coffee! ((( T ))).
So I dunno what exactly I accomplished, other than like Daisy said, the reality hurts alot. But it all explains SO much. I still kinda messed.
But my T says its better to say, and get reassurace, and not carry it alone, and that evrything is less scarey in the light.
This is long, sorry. I dunno even what I am trying to say....
Just trying to encourage you to be safe I guess. Be careful when you think about "stuff", have a SAFE PLAN *written down* where you can access it and read it to keep safe if you are triggered badly.
I think thinking tends to be muddled when triggered.
Maybe others have some good ideas.
Anyhow, lotsa people say 'baby steps', and I think they right.
Take care, glad you marching on,
You a good friend,
Muffled
poster:Muffled
thread:796467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/796535.html