Posted by DAisym on October 12, 2007, at 13:41:52
I pushed really hard on my therapist yesterday. I had all these intense feelings, for lots of reasons and he seemed the only place to dump them. He asked me if I was trying to shock him. And then he asked me if I was trying to get him to agree that I didn't need therapy anymore. I think the answer to both questions was yes. But what then? If I don't figure all this out in therapy, where do I figure it out?
Group is ending. And I'm really sad, because even though sometimes it was exactly what I did not want to be doing, I was just starting to figure out how to use the group in a helpful way. So of course I'm triggered into thinking that everyone I care about eventually leaves me. And the major person I'm worried about is my therapist. So why, if I want to "keep" him - do I also want to push him away? He said, "do you want to check in over the weekend, you are so angry and upset..." I said, "No, I'm good." He asked again, I still said no. He asked if I'd write to him, I said I already was but not stuff he could read. He just nodded and I left. And now I'm upset that I've cut myself off from him again.
I thought I was done doing this...
poster:DAisym
thread:788749
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071009/msgs/788749.html