Posted by youngaddict on February 1, 2007, at 18:15:23
In reply to Re: canceled my T apt...why do i do this to myself? » youngaddict, posted by muffled on January 31, 2007, at 22:23:26
HEY muffled. thanks for the reply.
I dunno exactly, but it meant alot to me that she cared even when she knew what a sh*thead I was and some of the bad things I done....
**I know what you mean. I am so exmbarressed by some of the f-ed up things I have done in the past.. so embarrsessed and ashamed that I am afraid to tell anyone.. let alone my t who i hold in this high regard.
Methinks for me it had alot to do with trust. Learning to trust.** I do have some trust issues. I really do. I want to trust my T because thats what shes there for because I honestly think shes excellent. I think that I am afraid to get better.. to change my life.
So this may be the right T for you, she may not, I dunno. My only advice to you is to be very honest and straightforward with her, and ask her to do the same with you.
** I know that my problem is that I want her to care about me, to save me and she can't. So I am avoiding her, playing games with her to test her level of caring.
If something in your relationship with her is bugging you....SAY IT! (or as I dO.....write it down)** that idea frightens me more than the idea of just not going back to therapy.
Best of luck to you YA. I KNOW you can get thru this, it may seem impossibly hard, but its NOT impossible. You got SO much fun stuff ahead of you. You just goto break free of the chains and keep growing. Growing is a lifelong process.
Sending good thots your way...
Muffled
**thanks. it does seem impossibly hard since there are so many variables going on.. my drug use, my issues from my chldhood my family, my friends, my depression. its all intermixed and I want to just go away...ahhhh..
thanks muffled.... i appreciate it.
poster:youngaddict
thread:726127
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/728830.html