Posted by Daisym on January 27, 2007, at 19:10:13
In reply to Friends are confusing., posted by Daisym on January 27, 2007, at 0:10:51
My friend called this morning to apologize for upsetting me. She said she thinks she was actually kind of mad at me because she has been needing me and she is used to me being her rock. It is scary for her to see me falling apart and she has a lot she needs help with. I'm her go-to person. I told her how sorry I am that I haven't been a good friend but that she isn't allowed to screw with my head right now about therapy, I'm too fragile. She said she wasn't necessarily taking back what she said about my therapy, she still doesn't get the frequency nor that attachment.
My therapist called me just after lunch and we talked about all of this. (This was the deal instead of the hospital, daily check in calls.) He said straight out that she was wrong, that he isn't sick of me. But he said I need to do some education with her, because a lot of people don't understand trauma therapy and the depth of the treatment. He told me to tell her that I wasn't pathologically dependent, that I was lucky to be able to do this for myself. He said I should be more honest with her about the severity of the csa, maybe that would help her understand my need for him and his willingness to be needed so much. And then he said she was likely projecting her own feelings about being needed onto him. And maybe she is jealous...
I quickly replied that she can't have him. He laughed and said he knew that. "I'm here for you, not her. But I don't want you to lose a good friend either. You need people right now." And before he hung up he reassured me (again!) that he is totally OK with how close we are and the amount of contact we have. He reminded me that, at least right now, these are his rules - the daily check ins. So I can let go of that fear for a little while.
Has anyone else educated someone about their therapy? What do you say? It isn't like she hasn't done therapy, I just get the sense that we have very (VERY) different ideas about how best to use therapy. I've met her therapist, btw. She recommended her to me when I first started this process, even though she was currently seeing her. (something I never could have done.) And her therapist was willing to work with me, but her style freaked me out (she held my hands trying to demonstrate something) even though she was very nice.
Anyway, thanks for all the support. I'm so glad you guys understand.
Daisy
poster:Daisym
thread:726973
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/727273.html