Posted by muffled on October 17, 2006, at 15:59:08
In reply to Re: my T yelled and swore at me . tears, posted by kerria on October 17, 2006, at 15:41:37
> His schedule switches because he works in a hospital- he has patients on the side at the hospital but that isn't priority as far as scheduling . Mostly he has openings the days when i can't come because i don't have use of a car- it's too scary- i get lost on the bus so that's no longer an option.
>
> T swore bc he was angry- blamed h for the schedule conflict. He was so angry with me. i'm doing so badly. i asked about someone who could see me before Friday- i can't wait 2 weeks between appt-***Maybe he was swearing at your hubby? rather than you? Mebbe he's frustrated cuz he WANTS to help, but is having a hard time doing it cuz of schedualling. Maybe T was mad at HIMSELF cuz he feels inadequate cuz he can't get the schedualling right. Maybe its not about anger to Kerria, maybe its just general frustration cuz he wants to help?
>
> i know he doesn't care about me- it was so clear to me. it's so hard to find another T now- with the surgery coming up, only T knows how to talk to my parts. i wish that i started with a T who cared about me. He doesn't care about the effect he has on me. tears,***A new T could learn to talk to your parts. Might take some time for them to get used to a new T, but they would. Just the fact that your parts exist at all is a sign of a clever mind.
>
> i feel so damaged. so afraid about the future. tears. i don't know my parts and i can't function.***You CAN know your parts, with some help, good help. They can get sorted out.
>
> T used to like me- he used to care but he stopped - he's been treating patients with DID- hates it now maybe i don't know. i know he doesn't care about me or what happens to me. It hurts a lot.***Mebbe he does care? Maybe he just frustrated?
>
> He cares first about his time and money. That's what he talked about and my h who is also so hard to deal with - blamed him and yelled '***That sure weren't very nice.
> T resents the schedule conflict with me so much that he forgot that i'm having a very hard time. he doesn't care. i could change the schedule if i knew how much T hated it but it wouldn't matter because T doesn't care about me- it was so apparant. i'm a mess inside and i need help now. i can't go to ER no one knows how to help me. i need to find a T - it's too hard now. i don't know what to do.***Your parts came into being to help you survive life.
Maybe you can trust them some to help get you thru this tough part?
Take care,
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:695466
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/695590.html