Posted by ElaineM on September 21, 2006, at 23:19:54
In reply to Re: Help places, Sunday, etc ***triggers » sunnydays, posted by Lindenblüte on September 21, 2006, at 21:23:39
Sunny: thanks for being around. You are always so supportive.
>>>>I can hold you up. If you can hold me up too?
LL: That was one of the nicest things I've read :') I would love to be able to help in any way. It is hard. I'm used to having my body do what I tell it. These past nine months I've felt so disembodied - like a marionette who keeps getting an additional string cut. I would give or do anything to get back the body I had a year ago. Not the super-skinny one -- I've come to learn to live wihtout that -- but the semi-functional one.
I am not stronger than you. I can't count how many difficult things you've done the past week or so. I know you are suffering now too. And I know you feel alone. If people feel alone together can that mean they're not? ...even if problems are different? What you were describing about how, because your (any person's) individual experience is unique to anyone else's, it leaves you feeling very seperate, is one of the things I'm trying really hard to cope with right now too.
It *is* hard to turn off. I think I checked my email a million times today to see if the other place replied. They didn't, but I just couldn't stop doing it over and over, and shaking my leg, and saying "Please" everytime I logged in. Really, the only time my brain turns off is when I'm in a session.
I'm sorry, I want to say more. I can feel it in my head but don't know how to pull it out. I hope my words come back a little soon. I don't like not being able to say something when others hurt. And I also don't like not responding to people who reply to me (a few the past week). It would be the least I can do to say thanks, but lately it's been more than I can do. I'm always hoping my brain comes back tomorrow.
hugs sunny and LL
poster:ElaineM
thread:687876
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/688049.html