Posted by ElaineM on September 5, 2006, at 22:08:04
In reply to you're not alone, posted by llrrrpp on September 5, 2006, at 7:37:12
LL, that was truly one of the lovliest things I've ever read.
I would like happy pink slip-ons -- easier to get in and out of. Shoes that think they might be slippers. With springs in the heels to let me feel like I'm dancing even when I can't.
(((((((lurp)))))))))
I feel that, today at least, I am sneaking by the scary parts, like you said -- hands over my ears, eyes closed, singing lalala. As dumb as it sounds, I need a break from being so scared and anxious. I need to go back to being ignorant for awhile. I like to hope that what's coming next won't be as bad as I'm fearing. There seems to be a flow of events happening, that has a mind of its own, and I don't have the energy to do anything more than float along with it. I just don't have enough left.
And, yes, I think I'm going to leave the "triggering" issue behind - or try to. I don't need more on my mind at the moment. If I wasn't ready to deal with it before, I know I'm definately not now. So I'm trying to forget IT -- again. (I'll never mention it by not mentioning it, so much again)
I think when you stop struggling, it hurts less. I was very good coming out of our time together today -- when usually I would probably have spewed out a too-personal, ridiculously long, word for word for action, post. I mean, it'll probably coming blabbing out tomorrow or the next day, but for now I am numb-er. And I think that's okay. And T's going to help me work on getting rid of anxiety, because it's off the charts lately, and very noticeable.
I'm glad labour day is over. It's too hard moving Mon's meeting to Tues -- too close to Wed. Too squished together. But I am calm so tomorrow will be fine, and everything will be okay. And you'll still be here. And everyone will still be here.
Blove, EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:682157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/683517.html