Posted by llrrrpp on September 3, 2006, at 9:28:04
In reply to Re: empty » caraher, posted by llrrrpp on September 3, 2006, at 8:57:33
Elaine, as a latecomer to this thread, I have the privilege to read everything all at once, and your thinking on this topic is really illuminating.
Pretend like you are writing a summary of your babble entries for some random English class. Might go like this
1) It was really hard to go see crisis counsellor (CC), but I went, and I feel confused and scared, but it felt like it was the right thing to do, and I opened up about a lot of things that I've been keeping secret for a long time.
2) I feel empty and conflicted, because I'm not sure if I told the CC everything that she needs to know, because I'm trying to protect my abusive "T" and not reveal too much about my ED hospitalization. I feel some relief that someone will help me find a better therapist for me. Please make it a woman.
3) CC doesn't really care about me, she wasn't even listening, and probably thinks I'm disgusting. She's going to see me again, but I'm not sure why, and I'm not sure I want to change Ts. I don't really need a therapist right now.
4) My current "T" is wonderful. He has been so generous as to let me make all the choices about my participation in this relationship. I think he's a lovely, kind man who is helping me out in so many different ways. I hate myself because I feel that I've betrayed his kindness. I could love him.
I realize that I have just written what is a major Psycho-Babble incivility. I have put words into your mouth. I have been selective about what I choose to read from your replies, and I have surely put a lot of llrrrpp's voice into this summary, even while using first person, as if I were Elaine.
It's a risk. I chose to take it, because I'm trying to illustrate something. Elaine, I pose the question to you-- what's the purpose of me doing this? What am I trying to show you?
-ll
I'll give you a few more hints: I think you're a wonderful person, and that you're strong and admirable. I think that you're smart and kind.
poster:llrrrpp
thread:682157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/682639.html