Posted by ElaineM on August 27, 2006, at 21:07:11
In reply to Re: meltdown (sooo long) **triggers, posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 20:45:23
(((LL))) I am so tired. And so tired of being fearful. I wish I still had my ED so I could live in the hospital with LadyT and all the nice staff. There was only one male Pdoc, and he was so important that we never saw him that much. I hate that I'm not small enough to be there right now. But not all men are bad, i don't think. Not all....I was starting to not be afraid. T wanted me to not fear....AAhhh!..(teary)...I'm sorry, rambling.
Shall I email the Assault Counsellor? -- the one who's contact info the lady from the Psych center in June gave me. It's not sexual assault but the Pdoc said that this seemed appropriate at the time. I was too afraid then. I wanted things to stay how they were, and I wanted to be over-reacting. I'm scared to speak to more new people, but I need someone to help me.
I feel like my head is going to explode. Ativan is stupid and doesn't work. I wonder how soon I can take more.
((LL)) thank you for listening. I was so afraid that nobody would say anything. Or say that I deserve being frightened cause I'm stubborn. Thank you. I'm worried I'll just go and say made up love things, and let him whatever or nothing. I don't care. Or I used to be able to not care. But old T's taught me how to feel stuff, and now I'm not good at just being numb. I hate that they made me not a zombie and then left me...I can't stop being a baby! My fuzzy thinking!
your responses help.
poster:ElaineM
thread:680627
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/680673.html