Posted by frida on July 7, 2006, at 13:43:28
Hi..
I am really struggling in T with a wonderful T to tell her about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my father. But I can't talk freely, and I can't express feelings while I am there or tell from my heart. If I talk, I talk as if I were dead (and she has noticed this) and if not, she does see how much I am trying to control tears and I can't let go and cry as much as I need to. I've been looking all my life for this kind of relief- To share this, to break the silence. And I can't. I don't know what to do. She now tells me that she won't abandon me and will wait for me till I am ready. But that she is concerned about my level of pain right now and how hard it is to function.
I feel so much urgency to tell her that this is present in me and I have flashbacks and it makes me cry during the week and I am having difficulties at work and everywhere.
She tells me that maybe I am not talking because I am so scared of losing control (more)
If I think about it there is nothing I want more than let her see my pain and cry and tell her some of what I have never told anyone.
I have tried writing, drawing, but this doesn't bring me the relief I am desperately needing. I am needing to stop crying all by myself, and tell her what happened.
But I can't do it.Is there hope?
Frida
poster:frida
thread:664899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060703/msgs/664899.html