Posted by fallsfall on June 19, 2006, at 14:02:27
In reply to I'm afraid, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2006, at 1:25:56
> of so many things.
>
> One of which is that I've been unfair to him. Today really wasn't all that bad. It felt sort of adversarial, but I came in full of anger, however coldly expressed. Some of it might have reflected back to me.
>*** Did you see him again today?
> I was playing with my iPod today and found the recordings I've made of his voicemails over the years. And the relaxation tape.
>
> I was filled with the desire to call and take everything back. To hope he can forgive me like he's forgiven me so many times before.
>
> He really does have many fine and useful qualities. And it's only been the last eight months that he's been hurting me. D*mn Katrina.*** Yes, he HAD some fine and useful qualities, and they were helpful to you in the past. But he is not helping you NOW. And you have given him plenty of time to figure out how to help you NOW. You can take the good things you learned. Leaving him now doesn't take away any of the past. But leaving him now would keep him from hurting you in the future. He has lost his fine and useful qualities in the present.
>
> I think I'm more scared of getting over him than I am of being hurt by him.
>
*** Yes, and this is your fear. But fears are not alway rational or justified. You proved during Katrina that you can survive without him. Can you take that experience and let it lessen your fear?> Maybe it's my fault I hurt. Maybe my expectations are unrealistic. In fact I know they are. I'm too needy.
*** No, you aren't too needy. Anymore than Daisy is too needy. Your expectations might be unrealistic, though - I think you should be looking for MORE than you have been getting.
It is expected that you will go back and forth on this. But you've been going back and forth for months. I think it is time to go forward.
poster:fallsfall
thread:657367
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/658722.html