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Start terminating slowly? » Dinah

Posted by orchid on June 19, 2006, at 19:43:49

In reply to I'm afraid, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2006, at 1:25:56

>
> He really does have many fine and useful qualities. And it's only been the last eight months that he's been hurting me. D*mn Katrina.
>
> I think I'm more scared of getting over him than I am of being hurt by him.
>

I think you have been hurt over and over by this man, and you are left with feeling so much anger and hurt and bitterness about the time and money many many days. And I think I saw signs of it even before Katrina, when you felt many times like he is not really helping you all that much. But then, I remember you said since he was very laid back, taht suits you too, since you don't want someone who would push you around too much.

I think you have been hurt too much, and even if not for the hurt, I think he must have run out of his insights to you by now, that it will do you good to find a new T.

But I think you need to do it really really slowly. Take a time frame of year or so, or maybe even little more than a year, and then start to terminate very very slowly.

I think it is better to not continue for a long time with your current T - atleast not for years together. But I think if you take a year or perhaps even more and plan out your termination, and do it very gradually, it might be good.

And actually I found the part where you said you are more scared of getting over him very interesting. I feel perhaps your desire to protect him comes from some of your feelings about your dad who you always took care of. Maybe you are feeling that if you get over him, it will be like letting him down.


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