Posted by wishingstar on June 8, 2006, at 21:03:56
In reply to Re: acting out big time (sex trigger) » wishingstar, posted by B2chica on June 8, 2006, at 15:51:54
I dont hate all types of touch... just touch that I'm afraid might lead to something sexual. I hate it every time my partner kisses me, even if we're in a place where sex isnt possible, because I just know the meaning that is behind it. But I really do love hugs and touch from others, when that aspect isnt involved. I'd LOVE it if my therapist hugged me one day, but I dont think it'll happen. :( As to why that fear is there, I dont know. As I've mentioned, I was never sexually abused. However, when I was young (maybe 6 or so), I did "play doctor" with a neighborhood boy - that's very normal, I know, but I felt guilty about it for years and years. That's the only experience I've ever had. However, touch did not exist in my family, so maybe that plays a role as well. I dont know. What you said about not touching making prostitution difficult made me laugh though... can you imagine? Difficult indeed... :)
What you said about physical abuse being more tangible and "real" than emotional abuse is exactly how I feel as well. To this day, I still havent really accepted that my childhood was all that bad. Even writing this, I wonder if talking about it in this way is making you all believe things that really I'm just making up or saying for attention. If "nothing" happened, I shouldn't complain right? But "nothing" can be just as bad as "something" sometimes. At least that's what I'm telling myself.
poster:wishingstar
thread:653771
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060604/msgs/654637.html