Posted by Tamar on May 30, 2006, at 8:30:37
In reply to Re: He definitely forgot » Tamar, posted by Larry Hoover on May 30, 2006, at 7:33:02
Hi Larry,
> I'm probably going to upset you even more to say that I'm glad you're this angry. This is good for you, unless you were unable to show any of it to him. I don't mind, knowing about your anger. I quite understand anger.
I think you're right. It's a step in the right direction to be able to be this angry. I wasn't able to show it at all during the session, but I plan to let him know all about it tomorrow...
> I think there are many kinds of forgetting. He didn't forget, as in not remembering the signficance of what happened to you. He didn't forget what he knew about your need for working on this until it got more comfortable. Coming at it from the other end of meaning, he at least forgot to keep the concept in his working memory. Somewhere there, or in between, lies the truth in his meaning.
That's true. He's not *completely* inept!
> Your reaction is not all about him, as I perceive it.
No, although I think I'm not totally over-reacting. I think he really does deserve a big portion of this anger. I think it was quite careless of him to forget. But I'll admit that some of it is about other stuff.
> What is wonderful is that you are attached to the stored emotion, so that you can touch it, and work it. Stored emotions never die, but they can kill the container they're in. Bottled up anger hurts the container it's stored in, more than the one that it's poured in. (Within reason.) You've at least got the cork out of your anger bottle.
Yeah, and I'm afraid it's going to contaminate everything around me...
> Anger teaches me that my needs haven't been met. Anger is something I pull over me, like a cloak. The problem is, I can forget why I am angry. I can forget which need(s) were involved. Anger tells me to look at my needs. Do you know, which needs you're angry about?That's a really good question. I think I need to be heard and understood. I need to be visible (or audible).
So I wondered... can I expect any of my needs to be met in therapy? Or is therapy really about discovering what my needs are so that I can get them met elsewhere? I don't expect my therapist to meet my need for comfort, but is it reasonable to expect him to meet my need to be heard?
I just don't know what I'm doing any more...
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:650213
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/650370.html