Posted by daisym on January 22, 2006, at 0:47:51
In reply to Re: T said to keep depression as long as I want it, posted by fairywings on January 21, 2006, at 23:33:33
I've been reading this thread today and trying to figure out why it is pushing my buttons so badly.
I think it is because I'm terrified that my therapist is secretly thinking all these things. But he would never tell me to fake it; in fact his big thing is to let more people know how I'm really feeling. Part of the reason you probably feel the need to isolate is because you have to hid what you are feeling. And isolating makes it worse -- so you get trapped in a vicious circle.
I know that all these things are suppose to help it ease up - exercise, getting out with friends, sleep, etc. But I think therapy has to be the one place where you can let down and feel those feelings. Like you said, he is supposed to understand.
Everything you said about over empathy, burn out, and being inconsistent does make me wonder if he is a good fit for you. I know it is hard to think about changing again but you need help and you aren't getting it. Nice is one thing but you need effective too.
I agree with Dinah, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You are using therapy the way you are supposed to. I'm glad you wrote the note, I hope he calls you. I think you really would benefit from talking all this over with him so that you can sort out your assumptions from what is real.
His comment about being depressed as long as you need to is interesting to think about. I'm sorry it wasn't offered in a supportive way because I think you might need to allow yourself to recognize how depressed you are and why, before you can really begin to feel better. In talking about feeling suicidal, my therapist has commented that I need to keep some of these ideas as my escape hatch, because right now I feel so trapped. He doesn't think being suicidal is a good thing but he doesn't try to take away some of those ideas either -- he just doesn't want me to act on them. (Obviously)
Do you know what has triggered this depression? Trying to work some of that out might help you with the discussion of how you feel. I think you should consider at least one more session. Otherwise you are going to continue to feel bad about this and you probably don't need to.
poster:daisym
thread:601410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/601719.html