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Re: T said to keep depression as long as I want it

Posted by fairywings on January 21, 2006, at 23:33:33

In reply to Re: T said to keep depression as long as I want it » fairywings, posted by Declan on January 21, 2006, at 22:06:20

> I think you need to feel as bad as you want for as long as you need. But that's what he said??

***Yes, that's what he said, but it wasn't in a supportive way, like it's okay to feel however you feel. It was in a frustrated way, like it's your choice if you want to waste your life being depressed, keep your depression as long as you want. Maybe after you've wallowed in it you'll choose to be empowered and give it up. I had post partum depression after our last son was born, this has felt darker and deeper than that, and that felt like it would never end. I know, looking back, that I didn't choose to feel depressed, and I don't remember why or how long it took to lift.

>>There are probably choices you make that contribute to your depression, but I seriously doubt you have chosen to be depressed.

** This is true, I have a lot of negative thoughts and I get paralyzed. I know it's self defeating.

I get up every day and tell myself to look for the good, see the beauty, stay in the moment, but I find what I feel inside is empty and aching, dark and often hopeless. I try to pull myself out, but it keeps coming back. Thank goodness for Ambien.


>>If a T has stopped empathising then what's the point? Even if you misguidedly cause it all, the suffering is real. You can tell yourself to snap out of it.

***Thanks declan. I'm feeling a little angry. Maybe enough to put a lot of this in writing, but it won't matter if I don't go back.
I don't want to go back in anger bec. I know it will be a wasted appt. and I'll prob. just feel worse. I don't handle anger well, so I guess the mature thing to do would be to go back and face it, but I'm not very mature. Pretty stupid, huh?

fw



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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/601706.html