Posted by Tamar on October 7, 2005, at 7:38:55
In reply to Re: Next topic for therapy-My abusive life cycle » Tamar, posted by happyflower on October 5, 2005, at 18:12:26
Hi Happyflower,
I’ve been thinking a bit more about what you were saying about your marriage.
I think it does sound as if your husband might be depressed. Maybe he’s decided to make the kids a priority and spend all his energy on them and then he has nothing left for you. I know when I was depressed I felt my husband couldn’t do anything right. The kids were hard work, but my husband was impossible. And I absolutely didn’t want to talk to him about anything because I felt too vulnerable. And he never said the right thing anyway (at least, that was how I perceived things)… Maybe if your husband isn’t talking it’s because he can’t imagine things being any better.
And lack of interest in sex is a fairly classic sign of depression. I was thinking… as far as I can tell, when a man has an affair he doesn’t usually stop having sex with his wife. In fact, sometimes the sex at home gets better and more exciting. Sometimes the other woman wants him to stop having sex with his wife, but I think most men will continue to have sex with their wives anyway. So I suspect your husband's lack of sexual interest has nothing to do with this other woman. If it turns out that he *is* cheating, I’ll be very surprised. Have you thought about what if would mean for your relationship if you find evidence that he’s cheating? Would you leave him, or would you try to work things out? Have you talked about this with your T?
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:562397
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/563998.html