Posted by happyflower on October 5, 2005, at 18:12:26
In reply to Re: Next topic for therapy-My abusive life cycle » happyflower, posted by Tamar on October 5, 2005, at 16:42:02
Thanks Tamar for your very insightful post. I still don't know for sure if he is cheating on me or not. The women at first quit her job because she was so upset. But then a few weeks she came back to work. I am worried because I know they will be going on a business trip together in Oct.
The reason I know about what happened on that one trip is because he was acting really withdrawn for a couple of months. So one night we had a campfire, and he got kinda drunk (which he normally doesn't drink much at all) and he spilled his guts. He was all sorry because he was attracted to her, close to her, and was very tempted by her. But he reassured me nothing happened other than she kissed him, and he said she left her job.
Things got a little better for about a month. Well I went to go to the store one day to pick up some music supplies, and deceided to surprise my DH with lunch. Well I saw her there! He said he was too scared to tell me she was back. Well during this time he has been withdrawn from me and refusing sex too. The signs don't look good, but I need proof he is cheating before I do anything drastic. I hate that he won't talk to me about this. I have a right to know what is going on.
As far as my new found independence, that has only been for the last 2 months, and this problems has been going on since Feb. But you are right it could be something else too, that is what my T suggests. My T is always asking me if I think my DH is depressed. Well I don't think so because his negative attitude is only dirrected torwards me, not the kids. He is a great father to my kids, spends a lot of time with them. But I can't even get him to talk to me about anything.
It is like we are already separated emotionally, we are just room mates or something. I am trying to hang in there, but it is so hard because it has been going on for a long time now. I just wish he would talk to me. We always used to be so open with each other. We always had a very good sex life. I have tried writing him letters telling him how I feel about him and whatever is bothering him I would like to help. But I haven't got anywhere with that. So I am just waiting like a bump on a log. :(
poster:happyflower
thread:562397
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/563348.html