Posted by Racer on September 29, 2005, at 13:31:16
In reply to Re: Shame - trigger » daisym, posted by fairywings on September 29, 2005, at 8:08:05
Could it be that SuperWoman is only a mask you wear? Maybe what's triggering the shame is the sense you've internalized that you are "supposed" to be able to handle everything with no fuss, no muss? After all, you can "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan..." and all that, right? Be the SuperAdministrator, AND take care of sick husband's needs, and the kids, and yourself, too, right? Not to mention doing ALL of it without help? Asking for help is an obvious sign of fundamental weakness, since even NEEDING help is undeniable proof of weakness of mind and character.
Yeah, OK, you probably know all that. It's just that you've internalized the "be a good girl and keep quiet" part, and haven't yet learned the "Make Your Needs Known" part. You'll get there. I'll bet it took more than two years for you to learn the first one, right? Give yourself a little more time before you kick yourself for failing the second.
I'm sorry you're feeling so wretched. And I'm beyond sorry that you're in such a tight situation vis a vis your work and your home and your need for relief. I know that feels rather like what a vacuum cleaner does. (Trying to avoid possible offensive language here, right?)
I wish there was something more helpful I could offer. I hope things start to go better for you soon, dear.
poster:Racer
thread:560850
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/560989.html