Posted by gardenergirl on September 16, 2005, at 7:59:07
In reply to Re: Update...next session was weird » gardenergirl, posted by daisym on September 9, 2005, at 10:43:02
> Sometimes when I feel like I don't know what to talk about it is because I feel like we "ended" something. (Of course I avoid lots of things on purpose too.) Especially when we've had a really good session the time before. Maybe unconsciously you didn't want to "break the spell?" I'm never sure if I'm doing that myself.
You know, that is how it felt. It felt like something was ended, or done, and then I had to fish around to see what else was out there.
>
> I think it is good that you expressed your longing in such an honest way. And I'm struck again by how powerful the human need for touch is and how many of us begin to long for it from those we feel close to. Even if rationally we really don't want it.It is fascinating, isn't it? It's a basic human need, IMO, that starts from infancy. And if you get too much not satisfactory or even painful or dangerous touch, it sets up this huge conflict. The need never goes away, but the longing for it is so confusing and scary, since the experience of it was never quite what you are longing for. Very confusing. And when this carries over into adulthood, and you become aware of it consciously, holy cow! It becomes way more complex from the basic level of a human need.
>Sort of like premature infants. Their skin is so thin that touch can actually be painful but they thrive on being held and hearing a human heart beat. We are such interesting bundles of contradictions, aren't we?
Good analogy.
>
> I'm guessing that this is one of those times you are glad (very glad?) that you've increased your sessions to twice a week so you don't have to wait so long to revisit such an important topic.Yes, but...:) I bailed on Monday. (hangs head in shame) But then bailing certainly gave me a place to start talking on Wednesday. Oh shoot. Interesting observation there. I struggled with what to talk about...the last time. Nothing really "took hold" until the end, and that's a horribly uncomfortable feeling for me...grasping at ghosts of ideas...So skipping Monday sure did make sure I had a topic, eh?
>Weekends tend to chew up the emotional intensity but I hope you can hold on to some of the feelings you had at the end because I imagine it was hard to say and since you surprised yourself, very important.
Yes, I do think this was very important, and that I'm finally getting into exploring the transference instead of dancing around it. (And now I'm quite certain that a dear friend would at least be thinking if not saying out loud, in her best "Rain Man" voice..."I'm an excellent dancer." ;)
>
> I admit that I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! Maybe we need a new club?Sounds good...what should we call it? Longings Anonymous? Hmm, LA? Nah, that has too much meaning right now. Hmmmm
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:550320
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/555569.html