Posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2005, at 23:22:48
In reply to Re: One of those therapy moments...kinda long » gardenergirl, posted by JenStar on September 6, 2005, at 11:52:11
> hi gg,
> thanks for sharing such a difficult and important moment in therapy. :)Thanks.
>
> I'm still a bit confused by his response. Did he admit he WAS bored, and say that it was your fault for not talking about interesting-enough things?No, that's not what he was saying. He admitted his attention had just wandered, and that wandering caught his attention at the same time I commented on it. I think what he meant by saying "if boredom is present than the more interesting stuff is being repressed" was that it's perhaps kind of diagnostic for a therapist to realize they might be feeling bored. They can ask themselves what's going on or NOT going on that they are not their usual attentive self. And if something's repressed, I don't think he views that as the client's "fault". I think he views it as a defense mechanism--something that prevents the "good stuff"...meaning the meatier,more important stuff (?) from being expressed. I suppose in my update post to terrics, I was repressing the longing for being held, and that's why I was just sort of spinning around topics and not really feeling like anything was taking hold. I was unconsciously avoiding what was the most anxiety-provoking...risking telling him my longings and perhaps feeling rejected.
>
> Or did he imply that you and he were subconsciously playing the roles of you-as-a-child and the father figure, and he was imititating the father figure and being inaccessible for comfort?Yes, I think that's what he meant, although he was not consciously playing that role. We just somehow fell into it. I have to admit, I have a hard time explaining and even understanding exactly HOW this can happen. I suppose it comes from my telling him about stuff that showed him my deep fear of rejection and the neglectful responses (or non-responses) I would get from my parents. So for whatever reason, maybe because we had been talking about how I seem to ask for or wish for guidance and reassurance a lot, what usually happened in childhood between me and my parents happened in the room. I suppose you could say I projected enough onto him to lead him to act the same way. And then his response and our relationship allowed me to experience that differently, and better than it was in childhood. A healing moment. :)
???? shrugs At least I think that's it.
>
>
> I also think it shows that you can and should trust your instincts about other people and their reactions. You sensed his attention was wandering; he confirmed it. That means that your observational skills are good -- trust them! :)Thanks! I didn't think of that. :)
gg
>
poster:gardenergirl
thread:550320
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050901/msgs/552519.html