Posted by muffled on September 13, 2005, at 9:58:19
In reply to Re: update *trigger*, posted by B2chica on September 13, 2005, at 9:04:13
> saw T last night... told him everything..from scoping the site to hiding blades to sneak in if needed. also how i thought everyone was sick of hearing the same old story from me and how different it felt this time...more serious/reality serious.
Good for you! for telling him every thing. Your doing so well.
Its weird isn't , the being all ready to do it. Sort of like comforting or something. The feeling of being in reality about it feels good too.
Even when you go to do it , it might feel sort of exiting and 'this is it'ish', its finally all going to stop. Even when your bleeding, it may be ok.
But its not actually reality at that time even if it feels like it. Its the ultimate trick.
This is where you need to listen to that little voice inside thats trying to tell you, 'I don't want to go'. If you get that far, please think of how much your going will hurt others you care about. Please listen to that wee little voice inside thats saying. 'please, I just don't want to die, I want to try a little more'. Please don't go B2, please don't go. :(> ithink the only reason he didn't have me go to the hospital is cuz i pleaded and said that i have several meetings this week that i just can't miss, one today and one thursday. but that i can't see past then and with nothing 'scheduled' i'm even more lost.
Is there any way you could schedual in some pleasant activities? Do you have any friends you could plan ahead some fun with.(I personally don't have friends, just my sister and her friends, but thats ok)
> i see him again thursday at 4:00 and he said unless i have a really good reason not too that i should plan on going into the hospital.
Its good you can go 2x/week.
Sometimes the worry is worse than the reality.
> somehow that actually relaxed me. He is concerned that he is not helping me and wants to be ethical and safe about this. honestly i think anyone else would have locked me up a long time ago. i thank God everyday for my T.Sounds like a good T.
> he made me promise to take all the blades i was hiding and throw them away. it was so hard but i did. now i feel a little lost. i liked having them there. he also wants me to call my pdoc today to let him know whats going on with me.
Sounds like a good idea.
>
> i'm feeling better this morning, but it usually gets worse throughout the day anyway. so who knows.Go with the good. The day may just be ok and not get worse.
>
> thanks for being here.
> b2c.We care.I care. Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:553299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554620.html