Posted by Susan47 on July 29, 2005, at 20:04:22
In reply to Re: Susan, posted by Susan47 on July 28, 2005, at 23:47:16
...dealing with cancer as well, and your surgeries, in your life you need major support. I hope you have more than the T for that, it's good you have a boyfriend as well. And I hope also that you have friends you talk to about everything, who are supportive and not judgmental, although I realize that sometimes it is hard to tell the difference. I'm not judging you either, but there's a fine line between being supportive of a person and supportive of what they're doing when you think it might be destructive for them. The only person who can really judge that is yourself, and you do say it over and over again, that it's coming, the pain will be bad. Maybe if you have a lot of supports in place it won't be as bad as you think. It doesn't matter what you do, really, in the end, if you fall in love with your therapist, it hurts. I think something like two percent of therapist/client relationships ever end in a lasting relationship (marriage). The odds aren't in anybody's favour, unless you go in knowing the outcome, and I mean who ever does? Most people just do what they have to do at the time, and if this guy helped you survive your cancer and your traumas, then that is obviously what you had to do. And we will be here to support you. I don't think anybody here wishes any ill on you at all. You're a person coping the best you can, just like anybody else. I also reiterate that I would have done the same thing you did. No doubt in my mind. And maybe if I had it would NOT have hurt so much, because I would have a good solid memory of something real to take into the future, not this deadly feeling of pain and rejection!
poster:Susan47
thread:531728
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/535426.html