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Re: For JenStar and Alex

Posted by alexandra_k on July 12, 2005, at 22:08:28

In reply to Re: For JenStar and Alex » pinkeye, posted by alexandra_k on July 12, 2005, at 21:46:34

It was christmas eve and I was spending it alone.
His family had come over from Washington.
His sister (from Boston)
His parents (who had spent quite a while in India)
His siters boyfriend (from Spain).
They were going to go down to walk the Milford track (takes a couple days) starting christmas day.

They invited me to join them Christmas eve.
I felt really very stupid and like I was intruding but I could hardly say no.
So I went.
And there were the usual awkwardnesses of how I was going to spend Christmas day
And about my family
But once they sort of realised...
They dropped it and were really very nice.
And it ended up being a really nice time.
And they said I was welcome to come stay if I ever got to the US (which I would never dare to in a million years) - but I definately got the impression that they meant it really genuinely.

And they were so nice.

And it was about then that I learned...
That I couldn't hate people just because of their luck.
And that you just have to respect people for being nice.
Its hard to be nice when you have to go without because it is so easy to become bitter.
And it is hard to be nice when you have it all
becaue it is so easy to think you are better than everyone else.
And so being nice is an achievement for everyone and all are equal in that respect. All are equal and it is what you decide to do with your life.

But... It sounds like it isn't just that you are so focused on these marks of success. Your friend is. Your friend is focused on them. And so that rubs off on you and you egg each other on so to speak.

It is hard.
I used to think about this a great deal.
I struggled a lot when I was in Aus. a couple summers ago.
The majority of people there were pretty wealthy.
Most were going on holiday over summer.
Europe.
Wherever.
I couldn't even afford to get back to NZ.
And even if I could
What would be the point?
I was very impressed that the uni was open christmas day
And I had a very nice chat with the security guard.
Thats my kind of place
:-)

And I know that compared with the places I applied to in the US I have a much much better chance of fitting in and coming to feel accepted there.
I mean, I don't fit in if I focus on the money and the family ties and the travelling etc etc.
But... There are less applicants and I got a scholarship there already (only 2 places and open to all students in NZ and Australia) and with respect to world rankings (which I'll admit I'm probably a little TOO hung up on) they do better (in my area) than the places I applied to in the US anyway. Thats the irony.

The ground feels more level for me there.

I'm kinda glad I didn't get into the US.
I think there is more pressure...
More of a gap between rich and poor...
A more materialistic focus...
Then what there is in Australasia.
And over here... Well, thats been hard enough for me.

 

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