Posted by alexandra_k on July 12, 2005, at 21:46:34
In reply to Re: For JenStar and Alex » alexandra_k, posted by pinkeye on July 12, 2005, at 21:10:18
> Maybe she has problem relating to people.. Many of our classmates used to avoid her, because at that time she was very arrogant, and rude and proud and wouldn't talk to people who had lesser grades..
Well then it sounds to me like you have a lot on her! And that she is very lucky to have you.
>So maybe that is why she stuck with me because I didn't mind it..and in fact she was never like that to me much.. a few times perhaps, but she always apologized to me and I didn't mind it much.. In fact I used to try to correct her many times on how to put words across.. But now she is not like that, and tries to open up more..
Thats good. It does sound like initially she was your friend because you made her feel better about herself. And by the sounds of it... You are the only one who has stuck by her and put up with her sh*t. I'm pleased that she isn't so like that anymore. That she has learned to trust you and that she tries to open up to you. It sounds like a lot of her life is pressure pressure pressure. You might well be the only person in the world who she can be honest with. Be herself with. And you don't judge her for it. In fact, in spite of what sounds like her many failings, you still think she is somehow better than you.
Maybe... It is that you end up being really very focused on these things because of your insecurities. But I really agree with the point that the achievements of somebodies family doesn't tell you sh*t about their personal achievements. But then I need to believe that... Because of my family. Or my lack thereof.Self-esteem.
Really.IMO nobody is 'better' than anybody else.
Some people do better in some respects.
But it sounds to me like it is YOU that is so focused on a few very particular things as marks of success: money, family, where someone went to school, what qualification they got.
That doesn't tell you sh*t about whether they are a nice person or not. It doesn't tell you sh*t about whether they are happy or not. It doesn't tell you sh*t about whether they have / are capable of having meaningful relationships or not.I think being a nice person, a good person is so very much more important than the above marks of success.
And it sounds to me like you are doing better with respect to most of those with your friend. Or that at the very least you both help each other out.
I'm very wary of those marks of success...
I guess I have to be because of where I am at in life.
My parents were lower middle class and I got taken from their care and put in a home at any rate so I guess that makes me poor.
I never had a trust fund.
I realise now... That I didn't get into those schools because I am *who* from the university of *where*??? with unknown referees.
And they have so very many applicants that they have a lot of leeway to focus on people from institutions they want to perpeptuate the reputation of to encourage peoples parents to pay the exorbatant fees at undergrad level.
And of course they take the token student from somewhere else or from a background of trailer trash just to counter the image.But those aren't things that people have any say over.
We don't pick what we are born to.I don't think these people are better than me.
And when I think of my office mate I don't feel she is better than me at all. Luckier than me in some respects, yes. But then in other ways I feel a little sorry for her. And people who are pressurised a great deal with all kinds of expectations... Well, I feel a little sorry for them too.Its hard for everyone to rise above that sh*t.
Its hard for the people without
Its hard for the people with.
But then you get some people who are wealthy and super-intelligent and can play sport really well and are really artistic and are really very genuinely nice people too...
And well... That can be hard.
That can be hard to take.
My flatmate over summer was like that.
He was such a terrificly nice guy and so was his family.
Its when I see that that I feel a little sad.
:-(
poster:alexandra_k
thread:526801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/526931.html