Posted by pinkeye on July 12, 2005, at 18:44:50
In reply to Re: Always having to deal with people much above me!! » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on July 12, 2005, at 17:51:52
Thanks Tamar and Alex.. But actually I feel many times like a fish out of the water.. It is really emotionally taxing to be with people who are all way above me - All the time - in work, among friends - it is really taxing. And I always feel like I have nothing to offer back..
And certain things in work, come only from exposure and breeding.. Like how to present in meetings, how to talk to people, and talking in social gatherings in company - well I feel, I almost have nothing to contribute to.. All I know about is India and my own ideas, and I don't really know too much about anything else. People seem to like me in work - but I always mostly keep quite and just mind my own business.. I don't socialize much, because I don't know what to talk. And I always feel kind of like a 2 nd grader amongst a bunch of college grads frankly. They all seem way above me.. And the way I manage it just go about my own business and keeping quite most of the times in gatherings and meetings.
Like last week, my best friend was talking about her cousin visiting her from UK, how she is going to do her college in Oxford, how some big company is going to sponsor her studies.. And week before that, her another cousin was jsut promoted to being a director in a bank, and he is dealing all this multimillion dollar deals.. And this is the friend I speak to everyday and she has been my best buddy for nearly 12 years.. WEll, I have nothing to offer to her, I feel.. I mean, she has all these relatives who are vice presidents, directors, multi millionaires, and here I am - with practically nothing to offer her back. And it is not just with her.. it happens with many other friends of mine, though not quite to that extent.And I felt such humiliation with my ex T also - initially his family was kind of ok - so I felt very comfortable with him. And besides I didn't really knew about his family very well.. But then, one day his family became almost one of the top notch families in India, and I have been feeling very down after that and feel very hard to demand anything from him.. I always feel he has so much more important people waiting to talk to him and he can like get anybody he wants, and why would he waste time talking to me.. It has become even more pronounced in the past few months, since I realized he is not willing to write to me.. and I blame only myself - and I tried to back away from him but I was not able to.
I have this problem with many people.
poster:pinkeye
thread:526801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/526857.html