Posted by Dinah on July 4, 2005, at 12:31:03
In reply to Still torn - longish, posted by Shortelise on July 3, 2005, at 18:05:33
If I remember correctly, didn't he admit that he's changed his approach as termination nears?
G*d only knows that telling you you're addicted to therapy, or something like that? is probably not his old way of speaking to you. So I think you can rest assured that your view of what's going on is not completely incorrect.
The reality of your feelings is what it is. He can't logic it out of you.
But maybe you can try to find out what his reality is? How he sees an "ideal" termination.
Because I strongly suspect it differs from how you, and probably most of us here, see an "ideal" termination.
I think this is just something that's going to hurt like h*ll unless the two of you reach a mutual understanding of what you want. If you're trying to relate to him as if the relationship was the same, just less frequent, and he's trying to relate to you as if the relationship has moved on to a new stage, it's just going to lead to pain for you. Just like any other relationship that is changing. Not just ending but changing first.
Mainly they do, though. Change before they end. And it hurts. It hurts like h*ll.
I think I'd try to figure out the reality of what is happening, and see if the reality can be changed. Can his vision of termination be changed to what many therapists are seeing it as? As therapy being done in stages, and termination just being the ending of one stage, but if you need help down the line, it can continue. If it can't be, if he sees it as pushing you out of the nest, and can't see it any other way, I think you're going to have some grieving ahead.
Therapy in some ways is just like any other relationship. Drat it.
poster:Dinah
thread:523054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/523284.html