Posted by Shortelise on July 4, 2005, at 0:47:32
In reply to Re: Still torn - longish » Shortelise, posted by Tamar on July 3, 2005, at 20:04:47
Could I go in and ask him to help me with this, not fight with me? This brings tears to my eyes. It doesn't feel as if he is on my side and I need to tell him that.
No it's not a debate I want to "win". It's a discussion where I need to be able to say how I'm feeling and why, but I need to explain it in a way that makes sense or he won't understand. The problem with trying to explain it is that I don't understand myself, and maybe underneath it all I'm again afraid that an exploration of what I am feeling and why will reveal ugliness and wrongness and the slurry slime that I sometimes feel is who I really am.
He has changed, and it's obvious, and it now seems clear that I have to think it through beforehand and write it down. That might help.
You know, rereading what you wrote, it IS as if he is trying to defeat the old me, the me we have been trying to evolve.
Thank you, Tamar.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:523054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/523195.html