Posted by alexandra_k on July 4, 2005, at 1:19:50
In reply to Re: Still torn - longish » alexandra_k, posted by Shortelise on July 4, 2005, at 0:31:33
From what I've noticed of your posts I do indeed get that you are pretty articulate - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to suggest otherwise.
I think... That when it comes to trying to express how you are feeling and what is going on for you then logic isn't something that even applies.
I struggle a lot with talking about how I am feeling and what is going on for me. A lot more than you do by the sounds of it :-( I needed a t to tell me what feelings were. I know that sounds strange. I didn't even understand that what was the matter with me had a lot to do with problems regulating my emotions. I just used to say 'I hurt'. In my stomach somewhere, and my head sometimes. And I knew it wasn't a physical pain. But I didn't know what it was. Wow, I can see that I have made progress when I remember back to there...
Logic only applies when you start to critique the rationale behind your interpretations. But if someone hones in on critiquing your interpretations when you are at the stage of reporting on your experience then that really is invalidating. We need to feel heard and to feel like the other person has an understanding of what we are trying to say BEFORE they go on to try and change the situation.
What I am wondering...
Is that you say that he has changed.
I'm wondering if he has changed the way he responds to you because he thinks you have made progress and he is trying to push you.
But feeling invalidated - well... That is pushing too hard.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:523054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/523200.html