Posted by All Done on June 22, 2005, at 16:41:16
In reply to Re: Confusing Session » All Done, posted by Daisym on June 22, 2005, at 16:00:45
> I have two more sessions before he leaves. :(
I know it's not the same, but we'll be here for you.
> I think I specifically meant childlike longings to be taken care of. This is something that never happened for me, I was practically running the whole household at 9. My mom worked 6 days a week and my babysister was not even 2 yet. I think there is a lot of stuff in here about protection and not being invisible too.From reading your other posts, I figured that's what you meant, but I didn't want to presume. I think it's great that you've pinpointed you're desire to be taken care of. That's a big step. Although I must admit, even though I think I know what some of my feelings are really about, it hasn't changed anything, yet. I'm not sure what's supposed to happen next.
I think your T is doing a pretty good job of taking care of you. It's probably just going to take awhile for you to feel comfortable accepting that care since you aren't used to it.
> It is hard to bring up these things, isn't it? If you want to share more, I'd be interested in knowing what you are deciding all this means. The more I try to think about it, the more it slips away. So I don't know what I want. I guess this is resistance at its finest.
Well, part of where I think my feelings are coming from is a longing to be wanted. My mom didn't allow my dad to do or say anything that she may have considered inappropriate. With her history of abuse, the list was long. He never told me he loved me, gave me hugs, or told me I was pretty (among other things). Nothing that may have made me feel wanted by him. Apparently, according to my T, little girls need this from their dads (to a safe extent, of course).
During my last session, my T asked me if I thought my dad wanted me before I was born. I knew that answer right away. I don't think he did. He was more than happy to go along with anything my mom wanted (or demanded) like having a baby, but I never got the feeling much of what he did was because he wanted to. Except his drinking, of course. Don't get me wrong, I think he loved me in his own way after I got here, but...
> I don't know if this will come up today. Little daisy is having a hard time with him leaving and I'm just gonna let her out fullforce (I think.) It is too exhausting holding the lid on.
I think it's important to let little daisy say what she needs to say before he leaves. That way, he can help before the lid pops off on its own.
> Besides, I hate, hate, hate that I'm a cliche.
I know that feeling all to well. The first time I told him about a dream I had about him that was quite sexual, I was whining by the end of the session that I'm just an open book and he must have me completely figured out already. I felt like he could have looked at a textbook to find out what my next session would be like. Although I did tell him that I wouldn't be falling in love with him anytime soon ;).
Good luck, Daisy. Lots of hugs to you and little daisy.
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:516928
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/517168.html