Posted by cricket on June 22, 2005, at 8:34:18
In reply to Confusing Session, posted by daisym on June 22, 2005, at 0:45:42
Hi Daisy,
I completely understand the conflicting desires. Some child parts of you want your therapist's nuruturing and the adult parts want him to find you attractive as a woman. And if your switches are anything like mine, it can change from minute to minute. I go through the same thing. I want to be sucking my thumb on the floor next to his chair or I want to be undressing him.
Maybe because I am more fragmented than you are or at least more used to seeing myself in fragments, it doesn't feel so confusing for me. I just know Oh that's Baby or that's Ruby that wants that.
Maybe as you get more used to your different parts it will be less confusing for you too. I hope this helps. Please feel free to ask me anything else about it.
I think the fact that you talk about his wife with him is very interesting. I think that in many ways it shows how stable your relationship with your T is. My T and I are not yet at that point, if we ever do get there. But one time I told my T that I didn't trust my boss because I overheard a phone conversation he was having with his wife and he was nasty, condescending and disrespectful to her. A couple of sessions later, I came in and sat in the waiting room but my T's door was open and he was on the phone (not unusual) but this time he came right to his doorway, a couple of feet from my ear, and continued the phone conversation, which was obviously a very sweet and loving conversation with his wife.
He never talks on the phone within my earshot like that so it felt planned in some way - "see you can trust me, listen how nice I am to my wife." It was almost funny.
I've been feeling alone lately too Daisy. I have no one IRL who knows I am like this. Not even my husband. I am so glad I have Babble.
Take care and keep posting if it helps.
poster:cricket
thread:516928
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/516990.html