Posted by messadivoce on June 22, 2005, at 17:40:59
In reply to Confusing Session, posted by daisym on June 22, 2005, at 0:45:42
I've turned your post around in my mind all day, and I have a few thoughts.
I admire you so much for having the courage to ask questions about your T's life, even if you don't get the answers you want. I admire his directness with his question, "In bed?". I can imagine how matter-of-factly he must have posed it. I can relate to curiosity about his marriage, and I envy my former T's wife for the tenderness I am sure she gets from him. Just being able to recall how gentle and tender he was with me, makes me think how much of a wealth of it he must have with her.
Do you think you envy the tenderness he must give to her during intimacy, without wanting the actual sex? I know I envy my T's wife that way. I guess the danger comes when we are willing to have sex to get that intimacy, and when our T's or other men take advantage of that.
I was not brave enough to discuss sex in the context of "us" (my T and me). Even as I write this post I am blushing red. I know he would have handled it with utmost sensitivity, and we would not have cease analyzing it until my *real" desire was uncovered, as opposed to just sex and/or intimacy. Which is just the way it should be.
Damn that transference.
I hope this makes some sort of sense.
poster:messadivoce
thread:516928
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/517189.html