Posted by 10derHeart on May 2, 2005, at 13:56:32
In reply to Re: T. Referred to My Younger Self?! (extrememly long) » 10derHeart, posted by Tamar on April 29, 2005, at 14:23:27
Thanks so much, Tamar. Your post was really great. (All your posts are wonderful - been meaning to say for a long time how blessed we are to have you around here :-) )
I know what you said is true. My thinking was muddled when I wrote some of that. I didn't even mean the stuff about stealing anything. It just seemed so alien, and the thing is, unlike Daisy's recollection of the first time that happened to her, *I* didn't find myself responding as a younger self at all, yet HE did, for sure. Everything from his shifting in the chair (like I know I do when trying to communicate better with a smaller child), to a change in tone, to the words themselves, told me he was experiencing something I hadn't "caught up to" yet. That was so strange.
Maybe by *stealing* I meant I wondered if I'd internalized the stories from Babblers so much I was *making* this happen, or embellishing it...but heck, that doesn't fit at all. T. said what he said. It was mostly about him, as I was too surprised to say much in response.
I'm not afaid he's thinking anything at all, really. Is there something I should fear he's thinking? All I'm mostly left with it curiosity and wanting to know what good use we can make of him so defintely hearing me over and over again, worried about having broken rules, crossed a boundary as so forth, but maybe not only as an adult needing to respect her T., but as a child, too.
I just now remembered he said it was incredibly clear I was waiting to be punished about revealing my behavior to ex-T. And that I was trying to reason with both him now - and ex.T back then - why I was *good* and shouldn't be punished. I must be quite blind in this area, as I never would have focused there. Yet now, it sounds reasonable. It's a lot to consider, but you guys have made it much easier. Hugs back to you, too :-)
poster:10derHeart
thread:491270
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/492720.html