Posted by 10derHeart on May 2, 2005, at 11:27:48
In reply to Re: T. Referred to My Younger Self?! (extrememly long) » 10derHeart, posted by gardenergirl on April 29, 2005, at 2:07:58
Thanks, gg. I really don't have any ideas that it's okay or not okay. I think it was a lot about being startled. And I have no clue why I wrote something about "should he have done that?" I KNOW it was okay because no matter what odd feelings came and went and how *new* that was, there was always a feeling of calm and safety underneath everything. That's how I can tell there's no prblem with any "approach" he comes up with. You know, I read that question now and don't even know who wrote it! Hey, wait a minute, maybe....hmm, just gave myself something to consider.
Anyway, I don't quite know how you can know what I meant by the "stealing" remark. But I appreciate you saying that anyway. I say that because I cringe now when I read that part. I know what I was trying to say, but it came out all awkward and unclear. I'll try to explain better in my post to Daisy.
Hope I didn't come across like regression was not a valid concept. I didn't mean to. That's why I shouldn't write stuff that's important to me after midnight :-( I know it is. I think it's that suddenly, with no warning, the whole reason I thought telling him about my "drive by" behavior with ex-T. was so hard, changed - it morphed into something else entirely. Something about me and why I was/am so concerned he (ex-T.) knew I wasn't doing anything wrong, bad, threatening. T. saw something different looking at me and hearing me (and boy was he REALLY hearing me) that I didn't, and that was so weird for a few minutes. And then he made it okay.
I still feel I'm not saying this right. Maybe I'll give myself a pass at least until I can talk to T. about it - which I'm not sure I want to do -before I beat myself up over it. Have patience with anything I say, I'm definitely groping for words and am afraid of offending someone at this point. Maybe it'll get easier with time.
poster:10derHeart
thread:491270
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/492642.html