Posted by pinkeye on March 21, 2005, at 12:58:32
In reply to It's still there (are ya'll sick of this subject?), posted by messadivoce on March 19, 2005, at 3:30:17
Hi Voce
Don't have too much to add to what other have said. But take care.Maybe just come to accept that he is gone and allow yourself to let go of him?
Sometimes when I try to cling to my old T, I tell myself to allow myself to just let go. And that stops me from frantically trying to hold on and keep thinking about him.
And I try to visualize myself as a happy and fulfilled person without longing for a relationship that no longer exists and will never be again - and that sometimes helps too. Visualizing has a powerful effect for me all the time - much more than words and logic has.
And sometimes I try to just think how my T would have a fulfilling life and is able to go on without missing me and hearing from me, and I try to keep that as a role model also. If he is able to go on without me, then I might be able to go on without him as well. He probably never felt that way about me as I did about him, but I try to tell myself that any relationship has to have two parties liking it, and if he doesn't want it anymore, then I cannot have it either. If God had wanted us to be life time friends, he would have made it that way - there must be a reason God just made our paths go together only for a brief period of time - for reasons I don't understand. So I try to trust in God and think HE knows what is best for me and my ex T and others around us and if this is what it means, then so it shall be.
Btw, I think the whole therapy model of termination and not keeping in contact with a patient after termination sucks BIG TIME. Peopel who designed it, obviously is a person who is devoid of any feelings or capable of any feeling, that is why he designed it so cruelly as to not allow contact after therapy.
poster:pinkeye
thread:472730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/473617.html