Posted by crushedout on November 15, 2004, at 19:23:18
I just did it in an email. I don't feel anything. I'm not crying. I feel pretty numb. I hope that wasn't too impulsive.
It was right after my session with the new T and we sort of figured out this was probably what I wanted to do. It wasn't exactly final. Well, here is what I wrote:
"Hi [Ellen],
"I've decided it's not a good idea for me to see you this week. I'm not sure what else to say. I don't really expect you to hold my appointments for me indefinitely, and at this point, I honestly think it's unlikely I will be coming back. Ideally, I would like to have more time to sort through things before making that decision, but I don't want to leave you hanging, so please do whatever you need to.
"I thank you so much for everything you've given me over the past two and a half years. I hope I can, at some point, thank you more fully and share with you what has brought me to this point. I think you deserve an explanation. I just need to take care of myself right now and can't focus on offering you one. I'm sorry.
"All my best,
[crushedout]"And then I just basically hit "send" and that was it. And then I wrote this post. And there you have it. It's done. I wish I knew what I was feeling. Is this going to hit me later?
I have another appointment with the new T on Thursday.
poster:crushedout
thread:416384
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/416384.html