Posted by shrinking violet on August 27, 2004, at 19:36:11
In reply to Re: T cancelled next appt.... *sob, whine* » shrinking violet, posted by Racer on August 26, 2004, at 18:24:43
Wow, interesting insight (and I understood what you meant, I think). I think it might be partly correct: my insides lately feel like a whirlpool, and I'm ironically more hopeless and desparing than I was a year ago when I started therapy, but maybe it's that whole "it has to get worse before it gets better" kind of thing. I do have internal wars going on (i.e.: trying to get better vs staying sick, living vs dying, etc), which doesn't help. Thanks again for your thoughts; I'm going to share them with my T next time, too, I think. :o)
-SV
>> I think it's so hard now between sessions for a very good reason. I think you've probably gotten to a place where you're doing something that's so important to some part of your conscious/unconscious/subconscious that it seems really urgent to get *somewhere* -- right now. In this case, since we're talking therapy, I'd bet it's to an emotional place that's so scary there's that conflict telling you not to go at the same time this other part is saying "c'mon! I see the light at the end of this tunnel! It looks *beautiful*!"
>
> Ergo, while this delay is external, and the conflict over the approach/avoidance thing is *internal* they're both being processed by some other part that's so separate from the conflict it's just processing them as if they're the same.
>
> End note: This makes sense to me *now* -- who knows if it will after sleep? If it's totally incoherent, please forgive me. If anyone can understand it and translate it into anything like communication -- please do. I don't think it would hurt my feelings to see it done.
>
> And don't feel bad about missing your T. It's an important relationship in a lot of ways that might be part of transference, but are really so much more basic and mammalian and somehow more intrinsically and emotionally *real* than can fit comfortably into one word. That thought helps me with this sort of thing, I hope it helps you, too.
poster:shrinking violet
thread:382595
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/383138.html