Posted by Racer on August 26, 2004, at 18:24:43
In reply to T cancelled next appt.... *sob, whine*, posted by shrinking violet on August 26, 2004, at 14:36:28
(Disclaimer: I haven't slept in two days, so this ain't me at my best -- and it might be me in my Brutally Honest mode. If it's all hogwash, I apologize in advance.)
I think it's so hard now between sessions for a very good reason. I think you've probably gotten to a place where you're doing something that's so important to some part of your conscious/unconscious/subconscious that it seems really urgent to get *somewhere* -- right now. In this case, since we're talking therapy, I'd bet it's to an emotional place that's so scary there's that conflict telling you not to go at the same time this other part is saying "c'mon! I see the light at the end of this tunnel! It looks *beautiful*!"
Ergo, while this delay is external, and the conflict over the approach/avoidance thing is *internal* they're both being processed by some other part that's so separate from the conflict it's just processing them as if they're the same.
End note: This makes sense to me *now* -- who knows if it will after sleep? If it's totally incoherent, please forgive me. If anyone can understand it and translate it into anything like communication -- please do. I don't think it would hurt my feelings to see it done.
And don't feel bad about missing your T. It's an important relationship in a lot of ways that might be part of transference, but are really so much more basic and mammalian and somehow more intrinsically and emotionally *real* than can fit comfortably into one word. That thought helps me with this sort of thing, I hope it helps you, too.
poster:Racer
thread:382595
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/382649.html