Posted by daisym on June 30, 2004, at 14:03:25
In reply to Re: Reading your Therapist's signals, posted by cricket on June 30, 2004, at 8:50:28
I think it might be important to talk to your therapist about your need to push him away. It will most likely be uncomfortable but ultimately it will be helpful. In retrospect, I guess I am glad my Therapist brought it up, but at the time I was mortified. He was pretty direct about asking about my "need" for him and we've spent hours discussing attachment theory (part of my master's thesis as applied to moms and babes) and how it correlates into adult therapy. It really helped when he introduced the concept of "little kid feelings" that continue to live in the adultme. It was easier to admit to those somehow. Like it isn't as shameful because I could understand how a little kid would intensely need someone to take care of them.
It is still a struggle. I told him yesterday that I sometimes still feel the need to hide my attachment to him, even from him. It gives him too much power to hurt me. He just calmly says, "I know. But I won't hurt you." I also told him that while I am pushing myself to be more honest and direct about this topic, I do leave and think "I can't believe I admitted that to him. What must he think now!!" He teases me about black marks in my file, because I have this need to be the "perfect" therapy client.
You can do it. It will move things forward. It is hard but I bet you'll be surprised about how much your Therapist already recognizes this about you.
poster:daisym
thread:361747
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/362040.html