Posted by gardenergirl on June 4, 2004, at 18:54:04
In reply to Re: Making Mountains out of Molehills...., posted by LG04 on June 4, 2004, at 10:03:03
Mair,
I have been following this thread with interest. I can't say that I've had a similar experience. I know very little about my T's personal life. I know that he is married, has kids, and likes to garden also. I know vicariously (from his supervisee, who is a classmate of mine) that he was once or maybe still is in a band. (I have such a hard time picturing that!)But I completely agree with the double-edged sword thing. I don't want to know any more about him. I prefer having him more of a blank slate for my transference, which is parental. But I struggle with fighting against feeling needy and dependent. So far, nothing has happened that I know of, to lead me to worry about him. I'm sure if it did, I would really struggle with that internally. I would want to assure myself that he will be there for me, but at the same time, feel weak and needy for that very reason. It's so hard to need someone and depend on someone. Particularly if your parents or other primary caregivers were not dependable and did not fulfill your needs. I learned that needing and depending was bad, because it didn't get me anywhere. I was reinforced for being independent and like a little adult. This certainly goes against the grain of needing a T. So I defend against it when it gets too "hot" for me. But when I don't defend against, and instead process is with him or allow it to help the work, then it feels kind of liberating. Like a secret is out in the open now, and is not so shameful after all.
Forgive my rambling. My brain is a bit scrambled from an impact with my car window. But your posts have resonated with me.
Take care and good luck with this!
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:352875
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/353869.html