Posted by Karen_kay on February 4, 2004, at 12:00:58
In reply to Re: Being a burden..Karen_kay, posted by pegasus on February 4, 2004, at 10:35:32
And to antigua as well..
I just know that my friends call me all the time with their problems. And it's not that I don't mind (well, honestly I am starting to resent it a bit...) but I just feel that they wouldn't even BELIEVE the things I am going through. And they call me with their nonsense, telling me the boy troubles they are having and I feel like well, I guess maybe I might be a bit jealous??? I'm not exactly sure how I feel. I'm jealous that they can open up to me but I can't do the same to them. Sure, I've told them about my past, but how in the world could I call them when I'm hallucinating? How would they even begin to understand how to help me? And how could I talk to them about my feelings about therapy? They've never been or experienced it. I just feel like our lives are completely different. Not any better or worse, but so very different.
I just don't know any other way to be. I feel like sometimes my friends are burdening me with their problems. They call to tell me how much their lives "suck" and I just want to yell, "LOOK at me! Look at what I'm going through. Look at what I've been through! If you think you're life sucks, step back and gain a perspective. Do something with it, learn the lessons you need to learn and just stop complaining about it!" But, they are my friends and need me to be there. I tend to take the "pull yourself up and don't talk about abad things, as they don't exist approach." It isn't always helpful, but it doesn't burden others with the fact that horrible things happen in this world and they happen to your friends. I mean my friends do know some of the things that happened to me, but we don't discuss it. Heck, I don't even think about it. That's why I am paranoid I have cancer. I tend to worry about things I shouldn't to avoid thinking about things that I really should be thinking about. Sorry, guess I'm getting started on something else. I'm not even sure if I really said anything at all..... Which woudln't be any different than normal, I suppose...
I just feel like everyone calls me all the time to talk about their woes. And I never talk about mine. It's my problem, because I'm cold and distant. Sure, I'm fun and entertaining (don't get me wrong, I'm not dogging myself in any way, just calling it like I see it), but I'm not one to go into serious detail about my "feelings and frustrations." I let them simmer until I hit a breaking point. I'm pretty good about letting things bounce off of me, but one thing that really irritates me is when people are very negative and talk about humanity in general as being "bad or callous." That usually gets me so upset that I do show emotions, and I've been known to cry. I jsut can't stand a negative outlook. Honestly, hope is all I have... And someone telling me different, that people aren't all good, and don't have the best intentions really, honestly breaks my heart... I can't even argue long. I have to run cryng to a different room. PLEASE tell me all people are good... Daisy, MOMMY!! Tell me alll people have some good in them..
poster:Karen_kay
thread:308879
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309304.html